I wrote the first part of this when it really hit home what Angie and I were committing ourselves to.
I am absolutely terrified. My heart is trying to pound itself out of my chest. My palms are sweating, and my hands are shaking so badly that it’s hard for me to type this. This is insane. We’re going to bring an almost teenager with special needs and a completely unknown history out of an orphanage on the other side of the world and into our home with young children. What if she has mental health issues? What if she has a history of abuse? What if she abuses Claudia or ‘Chance’? They couldn't even tell us if something were happening. What if she harms herself, hurts Claudia, hurts us, tells lies about us, burns our house down or just completely and utterly ruins our family and our lives?
But that is all from my perspective. My views. My fears. What about Callie’s perspective?
Callie shares a room with another orphan. All of her belongings are second, third or fourth hand. She knows she is different because she doesn't come home from school to a Mom or Dad. She has friends, but no brothers or sisters. She has adults in her life, but no one permanent. Does she wonder if she was abandoned because she isn't smart enough, or pretty enough? Does she pray for a family every night? Does she think that God has forsaken her? Or wonder how God could love her, yet leave her in an orphanage?
And what if she was your daughter? Say one date night you and your significant other are driving home from the movie theater, and the last thing the two of you ever see are the headlights of a drunk driver. Your family is unwilling, unable or unavailable to take care of the child you love so much. All your hopes and dreams for your little one get stuffed into a suitcase with a handful of their possessions, and they’ll be sent off to live with well-intentioned, overworked, underpaid strangers. At least you hope they have good intentions. How long would you want your child to live in that orphanage, knowing they will make extremely limited developmental progress, if any? How many times would you want to watch your child start to love one of their caretakers like a parent, only to have that person leave? How many years of waiting for a family would be acceptable to you? Would you be OK with them ‘aging out’ of the home, knowing that there’s a 3 in 4 chance they’ll wind up as a slave, in jail or dead within a year?
My goal in writing this is not to guilt anyone into anything. I’m not going to reference a bunch of scripture commanding Christians to act in these situations (although there is a ton of it.) I’m just hoping to explain in part what motivates Angie and I to do the things we do. We’re not ignorant to the reality of the situation. We understand the potential negative consequences. We've heard all of the horror stories, and we have friends who have firsthand experience with very hurt children. We have a fair amount of knowledge and experience of our own. We approach these decisions deliberately and prayerfully, with the council of people we trust. That said, it’s still absolutely terrifying. And exciting. And rewarding, fulfilling, and above all, it is worthwhile for me to spend a good portion of my life on behalf of “the least of these” in service to God.
